Couplehood

Wedding Counseling: Session 4

To a quizzical friend, who had asked me "why would anyone need to go for marriage counseling for?", I answered, "well, I guess I'd better be very sure of God's opinion on the matter."

In the marriage counseling courses we've both been going through, I feel a sense of being overwhelmed by much of the material. I do think I'm woefully inadequate to handle the massive responsibilities of being a husband and a father. There's so many things to consider, so many things that are important, so many delicate matters - no wonder the successful homes are prerequisites for positions of service-leadership in Church.

"For if a man know not how to rule his own  house, how shall he take care of the church of God?"
- 1 Timothy 3:5

Indeed.

Yesterday, we finished off the topic on companionship, and started on the topic on sexual relationships.

To put it perspective, sexual relationships are given of God and are perfect and holy in themselves. Trust me, it's a good platform to start on, because it challenges your thinking on sex, and what the fundamentals are. This exercise then starts to expose many of the worldly opinions that have allowed itself to root in our perspectives. I would think that it would probably be a good idea to weed these out now.

I'll not go into much detail here, (warning, long sentence) except to say that if what the Bible and Pastor Jesse are saying is true, then sexual relationships in the marriage are so very important because it is the most powerful form of expression of one of the foundational pillars in a marriage: Love.

And, if Dr. Ed Wheat and his wife are correct, then many married Christian couples (well, non-Christian ones too, I guess) are not getting this part right, for one reason or another. It's worth looking into and examining, gentle reader!

Well, I'm going to be late for a meeting if I don't go soon. I'll get back to you later!

~Adrian.

Lunar New Year's Eve

This year's a year of "lasts".

I was just thinking about it just now... It's going to be the last time I'm going to have Tuan Yuan Fan (or, "reunion dinner", for the clueless) as a single man. And, as it just went by, it's also the last Valentines' Day as a single. Woo!

It's not just me, though. I found out that there are going to be more than 4 couples i know that are going to get married this year. Amazingly, I'm not the youngest - that title goes to Mr. Raynard Heah, buddy, and JC Teacher. There's John and Clara, Steve and Ping Ping, Sharon, Darren, and a bunch of others... ALL AT THE END OF THE YEAR! imagine that. But here's the thing - they're all man and wife already, they'll just be going through the ceremony then.

It's funny though, how it works in Singapore. A couple would go register as a man and wife but only get "married" at a ceremony later. It's a two-step process, mostly to appease the parents and relatives. Makes you wonder who the wedding is for, eh.

~A.

Apparently, I'm not the Only One...

You know, I thought I was one of very few who had an unusual love for the monster fish called "Red Pacu".

I'm right - there are not many people who love this ugly but fascinating (not to mention very edible) pet.

See it here.

~A.

My Pacu Died

Today, I mourn the loss of my favorite office fish friend, my tinfoil barb Red Pacu (see it here), named "Monster". He looks kinda like the picture above, though he did have a dark tinge to his scales.

Monster was about 5cm long when he first came by. His partner, who lived too short a life to named, was viciously murdered by the tank serial killer, the Lobster (though it was never proven, it was likely that Monster plotted his revenge for his friend later on).

Having the appetite of his namesake, Monster devoured every shrimp pellet thrown at him with unusual zeal. He was messy, and often raked up gravel and dirt. Soon, after (allegedly) murdering the Lobster, he retreated to the back of the tank, and focussed on feeding his girth ambitions.

He out grew the tank this year, after two years of being in the office. We moved him over to a new tank, where he found freedom in the waters, swimming with glee. I could tell he was happy - he actually acknowledged my presence and gave me occasional fin flips.

Then, tragedy struck. The first wave came in the form of a a mold infestation that took over the tank. Then, the Neon Tetra died slowly, and clogged the  filters over the weekend, worsening the problem. Monster turned a sickly pale, and his lips were swollen. As I rushed to save the tank, he waited patiently taking slow, shallow gasps. I  managed to return the water to a crystal clear state. Monster seemed relieved, and started to look better.

The last straw was when a compassionate colleague (I do trust his good intentions) donated a bunch of mollies to the tank. Sadly, they were ridden with the "Ich" disease, and the protozoan parasites quickly killed off many of the mollies.  Little did I realise that the disease had started to infect Monster.

Monster grew lethargic, and when I came back over the weekend, looked sickly and gaunt. It was then that I spotted the white spots - had been monitoring him for sometime, and did not recognise the signs.

I know better now.

I transfered Monster to a pail, that could barely hold him. I gave him a light salt treatment with anti-white spot medicine.

Later in the evening, I found Monster upside down. He was still breathing, but shallow-ly. I tipped him back, and he gave a tail flip to right himself.

It was his way of telling me, "goodbye".

He was found overturned, and dead, at 1903hrs, 12 Feb 07. He was about 2 years old, and more than 30cm in length.

I mourn my cheerful friend, Monster.

~A.   

The Lady and I went out on Saturday to celebrate our 9th Anniversary as a couple! Hooray! It was a really nice place, and a really nice dinner. Too bad about the hair in the veal though. (For those who want to know, we went to Da Paolo's at Club Street).

Thanks, dear, for all the wonderful memories, and for being so patient with my nonsense. :)

With Love, to Miss Angela,
~A.

Weird Food to Scare Non-Locals

I can totally understand why non-Asian foreigners think Asians are a bunch of black magic shamans who have weird diets of lizards and bat wings stewed with marrow. I saw all of those said ingredients, apparently sun-dried, displayed and stacked in full glory in Chinatown.

Just to set the record straight, I don't eat things like that, and I hope never to.

~A.

Wedding Counselling: Introduction

Heyho, Gentle Readers!

It just popped into my mind, as I was downloading the pictures from my camera, that I hadn't included an important part of the Wedding journey yet into this blog. Yep, it's the wedding counseling.

This is here is a picture of us getting ready for the session just after dinner. It's wonderful spending time with Pastor Sng, Sis. Jan and the kids. But the real heavy stuff (whether we were served curry or Spaghetti) is the course served after all the food's gone.

I wouldn't think that the sessions were meant to be set up like a course (a la driving, which I'm going full steam ahead for, currently), that will end in a marriage certificate. I don't think any amount of preparation can prepare you for that life ahead. It's different, I guess - even though me and the lady have been working on this for nearly ten years - I wonder how it'll be like actually living with her.

What's It's About
The sessions are upfront and frank. It's no-nonsense (like many things Baptists are well-known for) and very informative. It's also unapologetic in thoroughly searching out so many personal issues, to make sure nothing is taken for granted. That, to me, is the most important part.

I don't know. Would you think that generally the current generation treats marriage with too much nonchalance? Perhaps. Divorce is now, sadly, mainstream. 1 out of every 3 marriages end that way in Singapore. While it's somewhat better than the US' statistics, it's nothing to boast of either.

Share a Thought?
I'd love to share the lessons here, if I could, and perhaps in the future, I will, together with some of my thoughts. I'd like to get your thoughts too, on marriage counseling, gentle reader, if you would share them.

~A.

Chang Restaurant

The Lady decided to buy my family a meal (yeah! heheh...) and I chanced upon a place at Dempsey Road, the old army camp. We booked seats for 4 at 8pm and my sister picked us all up at my place.

Dempsey Road must be one of those charming little pockets of suburbia in Singapore that you've always wanted to find, but were never successful. It's truly a pleasant find. Cool, serene, untouched by the throngs and masses - I could have been persuaded that we weren't in Singapore.

That's the sign board up there, with the lady looking chirpy :)

Friends came over!

And, we had us some guinea pigs!

(Thanks Ruqi and AIsha for suffering through that food tasting session for us!)

~A.

Miss Angela Cooked a Storm!

To be entirely frank, the pasta wasn't all that great, and I messed up the soup. But still, we had a great time cooking, and I'm hoping that we can really put all that effort into growing together as a couple! It'll be great if we can cook something and bless some people along the way too.

I've got to get rid of that dumb habit of taking pictures after the fact. Just looks silly, doesn't it? But well, it was a pretty good memory.