Last week, the lady and I went through the last of the husband-wife series of the “Michael Perl Sessions” for our marriage counseling. What a ride.
I’ve taken the past few days (which have been kinda crazy) to think them through. And, well, here are some thoughts.
It’s Not Going To Be Easy
There are a few topics that stand out for both of us as we move closer to the day: some are with staying in our current home, some are with our children’s education, and some on the matter of our my hopeful target of 13 children (just kidding on that last one, dear).
We’ve plowed through many issues these months with arguments, tears, and joy (mostly in that order), and often have come to the conclusion that there are some bridges that we can only cross when we come to them. We are comforted, though, that we’re both looking toward the same direction, and that’s just about as encouraging as it can get for a pre-wedding couple.
There are however, things that we can do right now:
1. Work on Settling Biblical Foundational Principles, and Stick to Them
Guiding principles, values, commandments from God’s Holy Word. Among these would be the headship of God (Ephesians 5:23, Matt 6:33), loving your wife (Ephesians 5:25), submission to the husband (Ephesians 5:22) – there are more, but I think you get the idea. I think of them as binary switches that all have to show as “true” before we come to a decision on any matter. Sure seems to simplify things when you see it in that way.
2. Set Workable Objectives for the Next Five to Ten Years
I’ve only recently been a fan of looking ahead and making plans for the future. For a good part of my Christian life, I’ve been living for the moment, and that’s proven to be minor-ly disastrous – minor, in the sense that I’ve been able to recover from those episodes without being scathed… much. But anyway, it’s great to sit down and chart the path to the years ahead together, just so we’re both clear on where we’re headed. Warning: This can end in many days of arguments, tears, and joy (see above). More often than not, it also ends with ice-cream.
3. A Plan is Basis For Change
If the Lord’s taught me anything in these past few months, it’s the fact that plans are meant for change-a-roos. It’s a good idea to settle this *first* before you start master-planning your life. I hate to sound cliché, but change is a fact of life. Plan if you must (and you should) but prepare to take detours, sidetracks, and/or a comfortable chair; the last is especially true if you’re like me (impatient). God tends to let me sit something out for a bit if I show the slightest hint of rebellion. Sometimes, it can be a long while. Change and sidetracking can be positive things too, you know.
The Final Word(s)
I hope that makes sense for you too. There's nothing novel here, I guess - but it's worth taking a look when you feel you need to collect yourself again, should you ever get lost.
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