As I thought about how near we were to the wedding - and having the feeling of panic bobbing about in my skullbox - I found myself reading one of my old articles I wrote for a website a while back. It was one of my first attempts to write on personal improvement - so excuse the lame-o lifehacking jargon - but apparently it was well received.
I'll just go ahead and share this, not much for writing tonight, and this post is late as it is.
Beating Perfectionism
The Root
The root of perfectionism lies in passionate insecurity. "It does not matter how much time or how much resources it takes, if I can't get to get it just right, then I will keep adjusting, rectifying, improving, and reworking until it is."Two Solutions (Just Two?)
The first is from a mantra that's been in the productivity movement for some time. Recently highlighted in David Allen's "Getting Things Done" philosophy, it's about "getting all your ducks in a row". In other words, it's taking time to have a good hard look at your whole life in terms of all you ever need to do in this lifetime. Underlying this very simple mantra may be a key to putting an end to self-destructive perfectionist habits.Getting your whole life into view is deeper than it looks. It can be a very sobering experience. But if you know there's more to life than getting just one thing done perfectly - and you've got a zillion other important things to do - you're on to a good start.
Getting Perspective
When a person not just the perfectionist keeps perspective on her whole life, she realizes that there are roles and responsibilities more important than getting the mirrors polished to a sparkle, or churning out a perfect paper. If every role and responsibility is kept in context of a complete and content life, it becomes easy to decide which roles and responsibilities deserve more attention and more effort.Setting Standards
The second of the two solutions is deciding on the standards you want to live your life by, keeping your entire life in view. This is the second step because it is far easier to do once the previous is dutifully done. You must be willing to rationally determine how good something can get, by your own abilities and limitations, and be willing to do this with a friend who cares for you. I found that person can sometimes be a very caring spouse.Excellence is not Perfectionism
In conclusion, there's nothing wrong with being excellent, but there's a point where it crosses to the point of fanaticism, and that when you know you are a chronic perfectionist. The solution is not complicated. If you can believe that no one's perfect, you must believe that everything else shouldn't be either.
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