Who Will Wear The Pants?
Our most recent wedding counseling session was spent revisiting the Biblically-defined roles of the man and the wife in the marriage. More specifically, we talked about the the ministry of the man and wife to each other.
Modern Roles of the Wife
The roles of the wife have undergone a radical shift in the 21st century. Ours is a time that marks the emancipation of the urban female. She has been blessed with equal (or at least increasingly equal) education and occupational opportunities. As a result, many of her sisters have discarded their aprons and spatulas, choosing instead to adorn themselves with power suits and Louis Vuitton bags, making their mark in the corporate world .
Changing Roles of the Husband
The traditional roles - in terms of who the main breadwinner is - is quickly finding an equality between man and wife. A study by Harvard revealed that 30% of working women earn more than their spouses; in fact, if wives are having incomes surpassing their husbands, it may be good economic sense for fathers stay home instead to look after the kids, if the couple had to choose between each other.
The Need for Each Other: Husband and Wife
If I were arguing for the wives to stay home, it would be too easy to plead the case on account of the children. There are no doubts in my mind on how vital a mother's nurturing love is to a child during his formative years, and even for the years beyond - and I'll have research to prove it. More difficult, perhaps, is to argue the need for the wife to avail herself to attend to the needs of her husband, and vice versa.
There's This Book I'm Reading
Apart from God's Word, I'm working on a book called "His Needs, Her Needs" by Willard Harley, Jr. I'm not done with it yet, but 2 chapters in, I'm surprised at the level of frankness that Dr. Harley uses as he approaches the topic of needs. In the opening chapters, Dr. Harley details a man's needs for sexual fulfillment, and the lady's needs for intimate affection. As I read that, it struck me how sad and confused we are as a society: we have men's magazines painting the sexual desire as a pornographic experience, and in the other corner, we have Amazonesque female magazines describing the wife's needs for affection as a weakness. Both are natural yearnings meant to be fulfilled in a relationship between man and wife.
I'll Have To Revisit This In Two (or More) Months
As close as I am to 1st December, truth is, I'm still not married. Yet, as I understand more of God's design for the husband and the wife, I am challenged to rethink my views on how the needs of the husband and wife have to be found and met within the marriage. So for once, dear reader, I'll have to leave you hanging. I could conjecture and theorize all day, but nothing will beat having walked the path, and living to blog about it.
Till then, then.
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