I’m mulling over a comment I got a few weeks ago from my wedding counselor (also pastor, and friend) who told me that I've got to start letting go of singlehood, and start preparing for Angela to come into my life. “Don’t be married singles!” was his firm advice, which begged the question: What changes do I need to make as I switch from singlehood to couplehood?
Less Time On The Distractions
Heh. Well, Angela thinks I’m a 'net addict, but I’m firmly resisted the label. I can prove that there have been long spans of time where I’m neither on a computer nor hooked up to the internet. It’s called sleep.
Okay, seriously. I’m going establish a habit for “No-Distraction Time” – and the first step’s already taken. I've taken out all the computers in the couple room, except for the Mac Mini, which is probably going to serve as a media center more than anything else. All other distractions like books, magazines, and TV will be minimized (TV is Angela's weakness). Man, I’m feel cold turkey-ish already.
(… and following that) More Time Together For The First Year
The first year’s important, yes? I've heard that in some older Jewish traditions, the newly weds cease all forms of work for 1 to 2 years just so that they can work on building the marriage. Sadly, we don’t have that luxury, and we've got bills to pay. That doesn't mean we can execute that in spirit, by prioritizing the marriage above all other humanly relations.
Actually, It’s All About Small Steps
Patience is a virtue, and if what the ladies on Real Simple say are right, then it's going to take some time to get used to each other. There are old habits that we're going to need to drop, and similarly, new habits to will need to be cultivated. Inevitably, there are going to be rough spots, but with the right amount of patience, and the acknowledgment that both of us need to put in effort, I think we'll be able to work things out.
Bye bye, singlehood. It's been nice knowing you.
Technorati Tags: counsel, couplehood, wedding, wedding preparations
Posted by: |