Couplehood

The Lady Needs Rest

Originally uploaded by Jakob Lodwick

Emergency
The Missus called this morning as I was ready to leave for a meeting, telling me she's had some complications. Man - I can't begin to say how absolutely flustered I get when I receive calls like this. It's just a nasty thing.

Imagine The Worst Possible Scenario
Then multiply it by a factor of anxiousness, and raise it to the power of flustered-ness. Then imagine yourself going through the slowest traffic possible. I didn't imagine that last part though. Traffic around Singapore (at least at the areas I was at) was horrendous. There was hardly a stretch of road that didn't have a throng of vehicles swerving about for the best lane. Still, I managed to pick up the lady and send her to the hospital by Ten O'clock. Phew.

Diagnosis? Wait A While
The scan shows Baby Koh to be alright and comfy, if not a little drowsy. We peeked at his features and his genitalia (I wonder why they make it a point to find it - I mean, where would it go?), and heard a strong heart beat. Double Phew. All's right with our boy. By the end of the visit, we ruled out premature contractions, but we still have to wait for a report that will confirm the real reason why we went in the first place. It's either blood (bad) or an infection (gross). Either way, the worst is over, but waiting is the hardest part - don't you know?

She'll Need To Rest
And that's the truth. Pray with us if you can.

 

Crabby

Originally uploaded by steev-o

I Was Crabby

I tire easily these days.

Maybe it's the lack of regular exercise (a situation, I promise, I am working on by means of a step machine), or a regular sleeping pattern. It might even be the stress common to urban humanity.

Whatever the case, I'm tired.

He Wakes Up at Ten-Thirty PM

I'm late uploading this pic, I know.

Thump-Thump-Thump
No kidding. And he kicks Mummy all night.

I'm not sure if you can see it, but that's his leg that's suspended over his head. He's not curled up, he's sit-and-reaching.

He's growing so fast.

The Lady Whipped Up an Amazing Meal

She started at about 3pm in the afternoon, grating ginger and chopping garlic. All for two, very sumptuous dishes, which were actually her granny's specialties. Simple, delicious, unforgettable.

Unforgettable, because it's the first meal she's prepared since she moved in. Man. Can't wait for the next one.

We're Home Alone! (Mum's in Taiwan)

Houseworks
Originally uploaded by desi.italy

Taking Care Of Business
The Missus spent a good part of Friday and Saturday (while I was fuming over a series of bad days over the week) cleaning up the house and making it pretty. She's pretty new to taking care of the home - seeing how my mum (who's in Taiwan enjoying a nice holiday) does an amazing job keeping everything shipshape - but she's been doing a lovely job so far.

Not to mention, though, the fact that she's having to nurse a grouchy monster (me) and cook. Did I mention she's pregnant?

Alright, I Wasn't *That* Bad
Okay, so I didn't bum out the whole time. I helped out too, hanging the clothes and sweeping the floor. But the herculean task of the week has to be the huge truckload of baby things we inherited from Angela's colleague, who very graciously passed us some used and unused baby items that, in sum, settles logistics for the next 2 years or so. To think that we ended up only paying about $90 for the whole thing.

We're awesomely grateful.

We've Been Blessed Much
I'm thankful that the Good Lord's blessed us along the way. Both of us are puzzled at how marvelously the Lord works in the way that He does. He remembers us, methinks. So, I should start praying about getting a job that settles the bills and gives me flexible working hours. Hey, you never know.

You're Free If You Choose To Be

Freedom
Originally uploaded by ΛβΠEL

I love the fact that we've set priorities and decided on what's important in our lives.

The Missus and I had an interesting chat over the finances yesterday. I was tired and could barely handle a conversation. Stupidly, I started with "we should sell the car" - but she was sharp enough to understand that I had meant, "you should stay home to look after our boy".

We bounced ideas to an fro, and after a while, it was clear both of us were waiting for this conversation. Both of us were trying to solve the budget/finance puzzle, and we weren't sure where the other stood on it.

It was clear now. We were both ready to put first things first, and trim off excesses to make sure things were done right. So, if it meant the car must go, then the car must go.

There's freedom if you choose to have it.

 

His Needs, Her Needs, Revisited

(This is the post I was working on mid last week. I'd have put it up then, but it was half-baked. Here it is, overbaked.)

I haven't really gotten a chance to talk much how much "His Needs, Her Needs" has helped our lives as a couple. It's only 5 months in, but I'd like to think we're benefiting from the material. It's been a good tool to judge how we've been doing, and it's helped point out the areas where we needed work on.

Just to recap, the book's about:

1. The First Thing She Can't Do Without - Affection
2. The First Thing He Can't Do Without - Sexual Fulfillment
3. She Needs Him To Talk To Her - Conversation
4. He Needs Her To Be His Playmate - Recreational Companionship
5. She Needs Him To Trust Him Totally - Honesty and Open-ness
6. He Needs A Good-looking Wife - An Attractive Spouse
7. She Needs Enough Money To Live Comfortably - Financial Support
8. He Needs Peace And Quiet - Domestic Support
9. She Needs Him To Be A Good Father - Family Commitment
10. He Needs Her To Be Proud Of Him - Admiration

I'm surprised - constantly - at how many people are pinging this blog for info on this book. I don't know if I'm up to the task of talking at length about how we've been implementing this. But trust me, even if I don't specifically mention it, it's in most of our posts here.

This much I can say though: if you're a couple on the road to marriage, and you only want to read one book on relationships, I'd recommend reading this one (I'd recommend "A Faith-Full Marriage" as well, but it's not widely available. I might have a few spare copies though. Let me know if you want that).

I don't know if many out there would have had the blessing of marriage counselling like I had, but I'm guessing I'm in a minority. If you like, I'd love to help in anyway I can (through this blog, if possible), just drop me an email or leave a comment.

He's Got A Big Head

Originally uploaded by Jeff Youngstrom

We're just back from the clinic, having done a detailed scan on our little boy. I arrived late, and missed it, but the lady scanner-doctor was more than glad to put my wife through another scan to show me how our little one was doing. Mdm Angela Chen was consenting, of course.

"Here he is, with his legs over his head." she said with a smile.

"Is that normal, him folded up like that?" I was concerned, after all.

"Dear, you sleep like that." The Missus was right. She has a nickname for me because of that - but I'll spare you the details, mostly because the word spells awkwardly.

"Chubby cheeks, and look, he's drinking now." I see a coarse image of lips move. At this point, I am unable to prevent myself from imagining my son as a fish. Of course, he's drinking amniotic fluid, which consists of all sorts of things, but it's mostly baby pee. Don't look at me, I didn't design the thing.

"Oh, he's a bit on the bigger side, you know" scanner doctor chirps, smiling widely. "He's got a huge head and tummy."

Just like Daddy, then.

Man, I Missed A Whole Week!

Originally uploaded by Jim Moran

Heya! It's been some time, I'm hoping to get a post in soon. It was a rather tough week. (The post in the works is unpolished, and I haven't had time to work on it.)

Just a quick update then: the Missus is feeling better, but after taking her boys for a learning journey, she's been pretty beat. Good thing she's starting to feel better. It's kinda late into her second trimester, and we were fearing that the nausea might last all the way through.

Okay. It's late. I'll be back later to mop up.

We'll Be Eating Now.

Eat Heavy
Originally uploaded by drp

She's Thin, For Her Pregnancy
My sister (who's feeling much better now, thanks) came over for a big feast at my place last night. Her first comments coming through the door were, "Angela's lost weight!". Which is strange. We've been getting mixed opinions on her size from people. But ask me, and I'd tell you I agree with my sister. Mrs Koh needs to eat more. Good thing Angela's appetite is back.

The Name's David. I Think.
We were deliberating over boy's names the other day. So, we've discarded the ridiculous names (Melchisedec, Deuteronomy, Hercules, Conan - suggested by friends) in favor of more pleasant ones (Bruce, David - our choices). The wife's partial to David - which I am okay with - but I'm sort of tending toward something more adventurous. I don't have a good idea of one yet, but trust me to draw the line at chemical names, weird initials, and animal names.

I Wonder What Kind Of Parents We'll Be
I'm sure we won't start off saying, "hey, let's be terrible, hands-off type parents. Let the kids grow up themselves, and we'll mess up our lives to make theirs a living hell". Unlikely, as I said. Most probably we'll be accused of being over-attentive, like many first timers tend to be (can you say, "paranoid protective pampering parents of a boisterous bouncing baby"? Thought so). The wife and I talk a lot about balance - but I think it's hard to nail it down with number one. We'll make the mistakes and learn fast. Hopefully we'll be alright before his long term memory kicks in. Kids can be unforgiving, you know.

On A Not-So-Side Note
Which reminds me. I wonder what kind of parents our parents wanted to be when we were still in the proverbial oven. I'm tempted to think a majority of us started off being a little over-protective. But this is the utter fallibility of the human condition: somewhere along the way, many of our parents mess up;  in fact, some are still at it.

Maybe it's impending parenthood, but I'm starting to be much more charitable when I think back to those days when my parents just seemed so unreasonable. So, I won't claim I'll be any better than my predecessors, or that I'm going to right the wrongs done by "doing it right" with the next generation. Frankly I'm getting a little bit of performance anxiety. But that's another story.