Couplehood

Togetherness

holding hands

A Quick Update First  
Thank you, dear readers and friends, for all your prayers and thoughts. We've had a rough week to begin with, but everything is starting to work out. Angela's feeling loads better, and David's been hiccuping (the cutest thing). We're relieved - though I must admit that not being able to see him and see how he's doing worries me somewhat. But right now, we're resting in God's mighty hands. A good place to be.  

I Spoke To A Number Of Folks On Divorce  
And it's sad what they say. "Prepare for it," one guy tells me, "because you never know when it will hit you. And when it does, it'll be a freight train." He's not alone. I've spoken to some parents who give their soon-to-be married children a perverse "pre-wedding pep-talk" that centered around how one can get the best financial deal out a divorce. Hmmm? If thinking like that doesn't lead to some form of confirmation bias, then it's going to contribute to a serious lack of trust entering into marriage. Bad thing, that.

And, I don't know when it happened, but planning for your (almost certain) divorce is now good financial sense. Feh.

I'm Glad Though, There Are Some Who Want To Keep On Keeping On  
Okay, the real reason why I'm talking about all this is because I've been talking to a couple who've been having more than a hard time. I'm greatly encouraged that they're willing to work it out and give the relationship second chances. I'm also happy that as a friend, I've been able to help (just a little bit) in the process of healing. It's going to take time and a lot of effort. I hope they find it to be worth all the effort, and I wish them all the best.

Why, You Might Ask
I believe marriage to be of God. Marriage is holy, beautiful, and perfect. Perhaps the only thing going wrong for it is the fact that it is inhabited by fallen creatures like you and I. This just means if we are to receive the fruits of this wonderful union, it means working at it, not giving up on it, or planning to give up on it from the start. Oh, if I didn't mention it before, I should do so now: the only way fallen creatures make it are by God's good graces.

I'm reminded of something I read not too long ago:

"We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. "

-- Martin Luther King Jr., Civil Rights Activist

I'll Not Soon Forget, Norton; Bland Weeks

Originally Seen At Ashley Wood's Blog

Virus-Makers Should Slapped, Symantec Should Be Hung
Yes they should. It took me nearly three-and-a-half days just to clear my system from the wretched trojan horses that massacred my PC. I'm not blaming so much Windows here - more, I think it's Norton's fault for not detecting a two-year-old virus. To think they nearly conned me of a $150 extension to their services. Right now, I'm just looking for closure. That would require figuring out the source of the infection. For the record, I've *never* clicked on any links from any email or any website that was even remotely suspicious. I'll conduct a deeper investigation once I get a chance.

A Bland Work Week Just Past
Apart from the excitement stirring from the (possible) new direction I'm taking, and a stirring sermon over Sunday, I've probably had one of the most bland work weeks ever. I'm getting restless, and it's becoming unbearable. Something needs to change. And I'm glad it is. (Forgive me for being cryptic. All in due time.)

Update On Missus and Baby
I've never had to deal with a enlarged gut before, so looking at the Missus flop about with one is fascinating. It is also a source of comic relief (really, you should hear our jokes about it). Occasionally, I'll get to see little David push at the Missus' belly button, which has to be one of the most adorable things I've ever seen (it's a close second to the time he poked at my lips). The Missus has a great appetite for carbs. That's not so good, since we should be watching those sugar levels and keeping them low. Protein, bananas and complex carbs are the way to go.

That's The Week, I Guess
Not so much of a cheery me, last week. This week, I hope to clear the backlog of work I accumulated over the weekend. Hopefully, if one of my top secret plans goes through at the end of the week, I'll be smiling again.

We're Home Alone! (Mum's in Taiwan)

Houseworks
Originally uploaded by desi.italy

Taking Care Of Business
The Missus spent a good part of Friday and Saturday (while I was fuming over a series of bad days over the week) cleaning up the house and making it pretty. She's pretty new to taking care of the home - seeing how my mum (who's in Taiwan enjoying a nice holiday) does an amazing job keeping everything shipshape - but she's been doing a lovely job so far.

Not to mention, though, the fact that she's having to nurse a grouchy monster (me) and cook. Did I mention she's pregnant?

Alright, I Wasn't *That* Bad
Okay, so I didn't bum out the whole time. I helped out too, hanging the clothes and sweeping the floor. But the herculean task of the week has to be the huge truckload of baby things we inherited from Angela's colleague, who very graciously passed us some used and unused baby items that, in sum, settles logistics for the next 2 years or so. To think that we ended up only paying about $90 for the whole thing.

We're awesomely grateful.

We've Been Blessed Much
I'm thankful that the Good Lord's blessed us along the way. Both of us are puzzled at how marvelously the Lord works in the way that He does. He remembers us, methinks. So, I should start praying about getting a job that settles the bills and gives me flexible working hours. Hey, you never know.

So, This is What It's Like

Only 1 Inch of Wood, But A Million Miles Apart

I remember someone (probably on TV, but I forget) saying "there will be no locked doors in my house". After last night's incident - though for absolutely harmless reasons - I've learned my lesson.

No locked doors, no secrets, dear.

Organize Your Room Together

Nice.

Having put most of the major furniture and decorations in the room (leaving only curtains) to a very nice effect, I'll be posting up some resources that were really helpful:

• Lifehacker's Cable Management System - If you have a study, you'll want to take advantage of a good, flexible, fuss-free cord managing system that allows you to pack the cords together, yet gives you the freedom to switch cables around. This is a brilliant idea using recycled materials.
• ZenHabits's Guide to Creating a Minimalist Home - Maximize quality over quantity, and put everything in its place. Of course, while maintaining the look is nice, it's not the goal. Eventually you want to be organized, not just neatness. Need advice on how much furniture? He gives good tips on how much is enough (in concept) right here.
• CNN.com/Living's "Clean Your Home in 19 minutes" - Quick hacks on getting your house clean under 20 mins. Not a bad concept. It's just that if you start, you may not want to stop. You perfectionist you.
•  RealSimple's Room Organizing Guide - I like the quick tips they give, but I'm not sure if I want to have a shoe cabinet in my room. I live in Singapore, you know. Feet and shoes get stinky in our weather. If I'm not mistaken, they were the ones responsible for CNN's feature (the link above).
• ParentHack's Habitat Tips - I'm not a parent yet, but it's nice to see some of their ideas in motion.

Technorati Tags: angela and adrian, bedroom, Couplehacks, habitat, logistics, study

About Proposing (Warning, Crazy Post)

 
Moments After "The Moment" 

Well, since I've made a hardly-subtle-at-all post about how a friend of mine just proposed, I've effectively wasted my effort on a not-so-incriminating photo. But it brought back nice memories for me. Which is nice.

Mine's a long-ish story, which I usually use to fill the void of "catch-up" sessions with old friends. As I invite more friends over to view this blog, I thought I'll give the longish one here - click only if you want to read (warning: this post was written at 4am, when I was overdosed with caffeine. Forgive me, but I think I'll keep it just the way it is, raw and unedited). 

Technorati Tags: adrian, angela, diamond, engagement, proposal, wedding

5 Habits of Effective Pack Rats

Rat-a-Pack-Packus
Adrianus Homo Sapius Pack Ratus

I confess, I'm a pack rat.

If That's Not Bad Enough, I'm Horribly Sentimental
I have kept every photo, every card, every greeting, every letter that anyone has ever sent me in my life. I also have every document sent to me from my first employer. All that took me nearly 7 hours to clear out, sort out, label, and alphabetize.

Room For Girly Wifey Things
All that, so that my wife-to-be would have at least a decent amount of shelf space for her stuff when she does come over. So, 7 hours, and 4 large bags of precious things garbage later (OH THE AGONY) the study is ready to accept a new member.

Dump Pack Dump Pack
This is not the first time I've done a major house cleaning. I've acquired a legendary status being a keeper of stuff in the family. In my more disorganized past, I would go crazy looking for items I lost in my piles of trash. My mum can attest to seeing me reach numerous "I'VE HAD IT WITH THIS TRASH!!!!" moments. That would usually be followed by hours of re-arranging, re-packing, and re-sorting. I've experimented with dozens of packing ideas, and perhaps the most recent offered some relief when it came to retrieval.

All I Need Is A Search Engine For Non-Virtual Stuff
Well, not strictly. Just one idea with regard to organization. Lately, after my brushes with Getting Things Done™ by David Allen, as well as Leo's Zenhabits, I've taken the cue to personal reduction and organization. Well, perhaps not so much on the reduction part - I'm more into being able to find all the stuff I've packed and kept. I've even created a "Wedding Box" on a "Wedding Shelf" for all the wedding receipts, documents, agreements/proposals, resources, ideas, and logistics (Angpows or "red packets" mostly) so that I only need to look

If I can offer some advice on being an effective Pack Rat, it'll be:

1. Get Yourself Some Sealed Boxes.   Best thing I ever did was to get some of those sealed plastic boxes for some of my memorabilia/paraphernalia. Admit it, you're not going to need to access about 95% of the stuff you're packing, so if you really want to keep them, put them in a sturdy box that will keep the nasties from eating your memories away. Boxes also stack nicely in cabinets.


2. Indexing: Categorize and Alphabetize and Uniform-size.   It's not possible for me to have a single general reference storage space, so I group all my items by context. Stationery, financial documents, and books are internally alphabetized within their contextual "Study Room" boxes/shelves. I file as often as I can, even with 4R photo albums and ticket stubs, so that I can maintain some form of uniformity of form for easy grabbing when I need something.


3. When In Doubt Throw It Away; When In Doubt, Keep It.   There's no real effective habit here, it's really up to you. Often I've kept something that I've regretted keeping, but every time I throw something away I tend to feel a vivid guilt that cannot be shaken off. Sorry, I can't decide either one for you - I'm thinking both work just as well, so pick which ever's appropriate.


4. Set Aside One Day At Least To Do It.   A no brainer. Your effective pack-ratting days will never come to fruition if you never make time. All I do want to say is expect it to take a long time, probably longer than you think it will.


5. Take a Nice Shower After.   I did, because I stank and was covered in a thin layer of dust and mold. And it felt great.

The end result of my 7 hour exercise is a neat, well sorted room, with loads of space for the missus-to-be. I want to see her face when she sees all the room I made for her.

Oh, and I left her 2 empty boxes for her stuff.

Technorati Tags: family, furniture, gtd, home, home building, packing, packrat, zenhabits

Keepin' It Real: A Wonderful Site Called Real Simple

I spotted this lovely 'site called Real Simple, which apparently also has a magazine. It's got a plethora of tips, tricks, hacks for the modern parent (read: way too busy person). I've yet read a fraction of the thousands of articles there, but the ones I've read so far are informative, bite-sized, and very  fun-to-read posts.

The tilt is more toward the urbanite mother, more so than the contemporary dad - you'll see it the moment you hit the site,

I do admire 'sites like that.

Quick Links to Some Nice Articles:

• The Real Simple Homepage
• Organizing's Real Simple
• Quick Tips for Reducing Clutter
• Your Guide to Eating Right: 5 Techniques and Recipes
• 10 Ways to Speed Up Dinner Preparation
• Don't Lose It!

 

Technorati Tags: blog, family

Coolest Toaster Ever

Cool

As you may know, I'm working on building a  minimalist home, This here toaster will very wonderfully fit in there. I can't remember the last time I fell in love with a toaster, but I have fallen in love with thumbtacks before. (Seen on Engagdet)

Th problem is, I do want to have kids, and this doesn't look like the type of child-safe appliances one should have, especially something as commonly used as a toaster. As it is, I wasn't able keep my virtual hands off the jpeg; so I can't see how a 6 year old will not want to touch a transmogrifying slice of bread.

You remember the old skool toaster. They were menacingly red-hot looking, loud ("rrrrrRRRrrrrrrr......TING!!!"), and when mum said, "if you touch that, your arm will melt off" I believed it. But this? This is going to make kids wonder about how polyurethane "SpongeBob" would look like toasted (and exploded).

That, and the fantasy of putting their hand in there hoping they'll become Spiderman or something. Yeah.

Technorati Tags: decisions, gadgets

Japanese Make the Coolest Stuff

Who would've thought of magnetic thumbtacks? I wish I did.

If you just hang one of them, this little gizmo's gives you a "zen-ish" hanging solution - but you can imagine (you neat freak you) anything more than three will mess up the wall.

But you've got to agree that it'll be a dream for people who put things in front of doors so they won't forget them!

Go on, you know you want to see the other wacky things he's designed.